Humanitarian, Doer, Changemaker, Connector, Model, Podcaster, Warsaw, Poland

The Guest House

​This being human is a guest house.
Every morning, a new arrival.

​A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

​Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight. - ​by Rumi

An unconventional conversation, with an unconventional WOW womAn.

It was March 2022, I was heading to Poland, at the start of the russian invasion of my country. Millions of Ukrainian women and children were pouring into Poland, most of them via Warsaw. People with suitcases were everywhere, kids with cat carriers, the elderly with winter coats and plastic bags. Volunteers at the train station were overwhelmed; medical and food tents were set up right in the center of the city. I was nervous to travel, without knowing a single person. I put out a word about it on social media. One of the incredible WOW Women I met in New York, Ms. Alana Zimmer responded. She told me about a good friend, a Polish woman who was quite active with helping Ukrainians in Warsaw. Would I be interested to meet her?

Yes. I would. This was how Ms. Zuzanna Krzątała entered my life.

The rest, as they say, is history. Ms. Krzatala was first of many Polish angels I would meet (here, here, here and here are just a few I wrote about) who were welcoming and helping Ukrainian people in the most harrowing, for our nation, time. Since March, Zuzanna (aka Zu, Zuza, Zhuzha or Zhuzhik) has been a whirlwind of words, ideas and actions. I alone bore witness to the following in just five months of knowing Zuzanna:

1. From the start of the war in Ukraine, she converted an out-of-business bar space into a 15-person shelter for Ukrainian mothers and children. It was called Disco Shelter, because the disco balls still hung in one of the rooms from its bar days. The shelter was open for the first five months of the war.

2. In this shelter, Zuzanna housed, fed and dressed a continual flow of Ukrainian women and children. Zuzanna personally established contacts with a slew of local restauranteurs and clothing centers to supply these necessities.

3. Zu provided medical contacts for the refugees and personally delivered sick kids to and from the clinic.

4. Zuza organized countless volunteers and connected Ukrainians to the needed resources in Poland (housing, transport, etc.)

5. She personally searched, vetted and established trusted connections to the humanitarian organizations in Italy, France and Spain. With persistence and drive she organized safe travel for the refugees from the Disco Shelter onward, to help the families move toward other welcoming cities in Europe. As such, Zuzanna

6. established safe housing and work opportunities for countless Ukrainians by personally partnering with reputable NGOs.

7. As she researched and connected Ukrainian women to life-sustaining resources, Zuzanna also managed to interview, record and edit a podcast, “Call to Action” for her employer, Vogue Polska.

8. At another parallel job of hers, as a project manager with ‘Humanity in Action Polska organization, Zu helped run activities for their fellowship program.

9. Zuzanna was nominated for a humanitarian award in New York but, true to her chaotic life, managed to lose her passport. She calmly dined out the night before her flight, trusting that the universe would uncover the document (it did).

10. Zuzanna gave up her new apartment to two Ukrainian families who fled russia’s bombs. For many months these grateful Ukrainians stayed in Zu’s apartment and cooked for Zu when she fell ill with Covid. They loved on her and treated her as family.

11. Zu bought presents and organized a party for one of the little residents in her “Ukrainian Apartment” (as seen in the photos in this feature).

12. Somewhere in the midst of the above, Zuzanna managed to continue working, and paying the bills, as a successful Vogue model.

This interview in Warsaw, over burgers and fries, has been edited for length and clarity. Special thank you, to Ms. Alana Zimmer, for transcribing the interview into text.

Zuzanna Krzątała: My life seems like a continual train ride; there are no train stops along the way. Its just, you know, the Trans-Siberian railway on a loop.

Olga: That’s a long railway road.

ZK: Going in circles.

O: Actually that’s a pretty straight railroad line (I won’t mention where it’s located at this time)

ZK: That’s true, no but mine is looping.

How is your life now different from what Zuzanna at 20 pictured? When you were probably in New York, modelling?

Hmm, you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever pictured my life to be anything (like this). When I was a little girl I just remember being terrified of one day being unemployed and not getting a driver’s license. Those were the two things I was totally afraid of, and here I am at thirty-three, still don’t have a driver’s license. I have these recurring dreams where I’m actually behind the wheel, and I’m on the highway, and don’t know how to stop the car. It literally means I’m not in control of my life; it doesn’t take a fucking woo woo tarot card reader to tell you that, I just know it.

As for being unemployed, I think I worried about not having stability in my life. And here I am, over-employed and unemployed at the same time, in some strange way; I don’t have one particular full time job, but I also have way too many. Being a model, I’m about to turn thirty-three, also marks the twentieth year of my modeling career. I started modeling when I was thirteen! And it’s crazy, because I still sometimes show up at castings and people tell me that I look too young or they ask me, “girl, are you about twenty-five because this is a whiskey commercial”. And, inside, I’m like “fuck, yea!”.

So, to loop back, I’m not entirely sure I pictured a specific life for myself, at the age of 20. I’ve had a great privilege to live my twenties in New York where I came just on the cusp of turning twenty. I left NYC just before I turned thirty and I think that was a great closure for me. Those were also years of innocence. Obama was the president, I came to the United States when Bush was the president, and I left when Trump was the fucking president, and I’d just had enough. I knew that I did my time, it was time to leave. 

Good. Answer. Was there a time when life knocked you down, and what did you do to get back up on your feet?

I feel that happens every other day, or every other morning. I mean, definitely the past few months have been some of the most challenging in my life. And yet at the same time, they’ve been the most fulfilling. I feel like I live to the fullest. But it’s definitely been tough on many levels. I don’t know what I do when I’m down; I pick myself up. I think my modus operandi is just being up, constantly. Yes, there are moments when you’re down, but what gets me up and out in the morning is another project I’m excited about.

I live my life from project to project. I’m very much driven by emotions and passion for ideas, around actions to fulfill those ideas. I am not very good at consistency. Yes sometimes it means jumping ship when the project is no longer serving my interests. And yes, I’m saying that to all of my future employers. I’m terrible at finishing up projects.

Do you get bored easily?

Yes and no. I get restless. I tend to need excitement. And yet, it’s amazing because although I am constantly overstimulated, I need more stimulus to keep going in life. 

Do you feel you need recognition for the work you’re doing?

I do, truthfully. I do better when I feel encouraged by positive feedback. Criticism brings me down, makes me question everything, and makes me feel insecure. Working in the activism field, I believe it’s an easy trap to fall into, thinking we’re doing things single-handedly. When in fact, it takes a village. So the trouble with craving the recognition can be, you know, falling into a savior trap, where you think that if you can’t do it, no one else will. And that’s just not true.

Someone said “this is not a sprint, it’s a marathon” but I think it’s not just a marathon, it’s the passing of the baton and delegating tasks that leads to successful outcomes. I’m saying it to those who are down on themselves and feel weighed down with expectations. 

Don’t do what I’m doing, don’t follow my footsteps, definitely not. This is not a recipe for cultivating healthy relationships, or a healthy lifestyle; just look at me, haggard at the age of thirty three. 

I guess I’ll also ask about any advice for new models?

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, that being just modeling. What makes you interesting is not just an intriguing look but its also what you’re bringing to the shoot (personality, opinions, experiences). People want to work with interesting people (so have opinions, ideas, passions about something). At the end of the day there are so many pretty girls out there. But you just need to have that extra bit that makes you interesting too. And definitely be professional and kind to everyone on the set, that’s so important. Remember everyone’s names, and just treat everyone equally, that is really important in my opinion. 

Would you recommend for women to step outside their comfort zones, interests-wise?

Well of course! Goodness, absolutely. See, that’s the thing, it always works this way. When I started university, that’s when the real (modelling) work began, that was the time when it started blooming. People (in the industry) respected that, clients loved to hear about the non-modelling work I was doing, what I was studying, my classes. It’s often the case with the girls I’ve met (in the modelling industry): they enroll in college, develop interests outside the fashion industry and then, all of a sudden, they start booking modelling jobs. Then, the hard question of course becomes what to pursue, in terms of lucrative financial opportunities vs. taking a particular class in college.

Where in the world do you feel tallest? Where is your happy place?

On the road. I love being on the road. I feel happiest when I’m getting lost in new places. I always need that. But you know what? I was supposed to be a Leo, but since I was a preemie and was born early, I’m a cancer. So I’d say I’m between both: between comfort-loving/family-oriented homebody and passionate restless soul craving to be on the road. Also, side note, I’m not an astrological person at all; I don’t know why I brought the signs up to be honest. I never speak like this and I hate when people are ‘oh, you’re such a cancer’ and to that I think ‘oh we’re so not going to be friends’.

HA! I’m so not leaving that in! We will get ambushed by astrology lovers! (I left it in)

Moving on, what are some extracurricular activities and hobbies that you are most proud of, which are not perhaps work-related?

I wish I had time for knitting, but let’s be honest, I don’t. I barely have time to make breakfast. I’ve never tried knitting, but I love knitted things. But I love cooking, and I love eating, and I love tasting. I just love flavors, and that applies to everything. I’m a very flavorsome person. I just don’t settle for mediocre, I go for the real deal. I don’t know if these are extracurricular activities, eating and cooking. But when I’m at my happiest, I eat. When I’m at my most miserable or busiest, I stop eating. Food for me is connected to actual pleasures in life.

I wish I had time for knitting, but let’s be honest, I don’t. I barely have time to make breakfast. I’ve never tried knitting, but I love knitted things.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I have this image of myself, and it’s this one particular lady that I want to be when I grow up. Picture this: I’m the old lady. I have a long silver braid, wearing denim overalls. I have a little cottage, a house in the countryside, absolutely all kinds of things are sticking out of my pockets. I just want to work in the garden and pick my own strawberries. It can be in the Polish countryside.

I’ve seen a fair bit of the world and am glad to be back in Poland. I don’t know if I’ve come (to Poland) to rest and if this is going to be my place of rest. But I don’t mind it as a base from which I discover the world. I will truly always be a global citizen. New York has shaped me in that sense. I’ve lived in London, there was a time when I lived part-time in Paris as well. For modeling I used travel far away for contracts. I won’t call it ‘living there’ but I spent six weeks in Japan when I was 15 and 17, so I got a sense of being out and about in Tokyo. Foundation and home base are really important for me.

As difficult as Poland can be, and I can truly love and hate this country, it is my own. I know I can shape it. I am shaping it and that’s very empowering. I have no business shaping Mexico for instance, even though I love Mexico. 

I was also shaped by the US, its a country of fucking dissent, especially under Trump. We were not much in the streets under Obama. I do remember one of the first US protests I attended; it was about US policies, not Polish. I was already organizing back in New York, outside of the US consulate in New York, we were organizing protests for women’s rights and for reproductive rights, already back in 2015. I have this picture that got printed in the largest Polish newspaper of me standing in front of the UN building with my good friend that was just the early days of the pro-choice protests and I’m smiling and very happy-go-lucky. It comes full circle now in Poland. 

What fears are you still hoping to overcome?

The fear of being alone. Even though I love traveling alone, I am very much a people person, I have always been in a relationship. I tend to need to have that one person to relate things to. So that’s a fear of mine: a fear that I need to be with someone because I don’t fully trust myself, don’t trust myself on certain issues. I seem to need this person because I need their reassurance and to prevent me from second guessing myself. I should find this reassurance within myself, of course.

At the end of the day, truly it is very nice to be in a relationship, but with the right person. One shouldn’t just be in a relationship because they are terrified of how to cope on their own.

Anything you’d do differently if you had to live your life again? Conscious life? Adult life? New York life?

Perhaps end things sooner. I tend to linger (in relationships and friendships) because I’m afraid to make painful decisions. I should recognize earlier that the situation or relationship does not serve me and just end it. Instead I let things linger. I’m talking about friendships here, not necessarily romantic relationships. Yes, maybe if I would have done that, much time and pain would have been spared.

I am in a good place now and I am in that place because of the sum of all experiences (good and bad) I’ve had along the way. I know for a fact, had I not been scouted at the age of 13 that it would have been very unlikely for me to move to New York the day after graduating from high school with a working visa; without all that the rest of my path, as it is now, would have been also highly unlikely.

We’re all just a sum of experiences. I believe that if, at one point along the journey, I would have moved one glass a little bit further to the right, it could have possibly affected the whole trajectory of life. So thank god I haven’t made any major mistakes and have regretted nothing thus far.

What or who inspires you?

I don’t know if there’s one particular person. In general young activists I get to work with for Humanity in Action (HIA) inspire me a great deal. Talented people in the fellowship program that I run for HIA inspire me to no end. Young people in general.

When I encounter young people in their teens and their early 20’s, I’m just amazed by their conviction. They’re in a different place than we were at their age. They have a whole new consciousness and I’m inspired about that; it makes me feel less hopeless about the world. And I now sound like a boomer. 

Do you think you’d be in a different place if you were 20 now?

I think with the climate catastrophe hanging over us, with the pandemic, kids now are in a tough place. There are threats everywhere, with the war happening on our doorstep for example. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes.

As I said in my 20’s in New York, under Obama, we were in a safe bubble, yet there was Syria, Yemen and drone warfare that no one was really protesting; the border crisis has always been there, but we were under a false sense of safety and security.

What are some ingredients to a good life?

Sunshine. I get my positive energy from the sun; it’s everything to me. Light to me is everything, even in the worst moments. That’s why it was so surreal on the day war (in Ukraine) broke out, it was the most beautiful sunny day in Warsaw. We were feeling spring in the air. It was such contrast to the horribleness of the situation.

Another ingredient to a good life is definitely quality food for me. Friends, yes, but I also have a tendency to burn out in social situations. I give so much and I know no boundaries; it exhausts me. I don’t necessarily find solace and comfort in those. I very rarely show myself truly tired. Even in the moments of madness, I still manage. Probably from modeling days because you always had to perform and be your best self, no matter how you felt.

What are at least three qualities you most love about yourself?

I think that I’m fearless in a sense because nothing stops me. I just go after things and people. I don’t seem to have these blockages or barriers. I think I’m passionate, driven and super energetic in that sense. That’s already three right there: fearless, passionate, driven. 

I can say one for you, you don’t see obstacles in the same way as others do. You have a different sense of what’s possible. Where do you think that comes from?

I don’t know, mania? Manic people see no barriers. 

What advice would you give the 14-year-old you? And what would she tell you in return?

I was bullied in school when I first started modeling. I was bullied by the boys whom I rejected, and I was bullied by the girls. But when I say bullied, it was terrible. I was afraid to go to school. There was a time when three boys were going to be detained in school and there were meetings between the teachers, my parents and boys’ parents. The committee was reading the text messages the boys sent me that were threatening in nature, highly inappropriately sexual messages. This was the early days of online bullying.

So to that 14-year-old girl I would just say ‘Jesus girl, you don’t even know where you’re about to be in the world, in the next four years. Hang in there!” That guy who is hating on you because you don’t wear white socks and you like to wear colorful socks, that guy has some issues. I would tell the little me to just laugh in their faces and have the courage to be bigger than the situation mentally. 

What are you reading now?

I am reading my unread emails. I am reading them and making them unread again because there are just so many in my mailbox. I am at the point that I have not read anything, seen anything, listened to anything, podcasts included. I am an empty vessel waiting for a holiday to fill up.

I’m living from suitcases and boxes (since I just moved back to my apartment). So, long story short, if I were to read something right now, I would love to read Simone De Beauvoir because its just utterly feminist, French, cool. 

Who is a WOW Woman in your world, who inspires you?

Let me tell you, Arina Bilai! Girls like her, who are fearless and tell adults off for not doing enough. She is 16, speaking in a foreign country, in a foreign language, amid the war in her country. That is fucking fearless. You know, when you’re not even technically a woman yet and you’re a girl, you’re already a wow woman and you’re still a girl. That is WOW.

What and who is worth suffering for?

This one is a tough one, I don’t know.

What would you do if you knew that nobody would judge you?

I think I would have grown up to be that girl, who took my own advice.

If you could be anyone for a day who would it be?

Wes Anderson. I would love to get inside his head. Or maybe I’d rather be his set designer, to live in his whimsical set. 

If you could relive one year in your life which would it be?

I think maybe sixth year, when you’re excited to go to school and yet have no assignments and no worries but you’re just excited and you don’t know what’s out there awaiting you. Right before all these responsibilities and expectations come falling on you. I think that is the last of the innocence. But then your teeth start falling out and it hurts. I was a cute kid, though, I wore glasses kind of like John Lennon’s.

What bothers you most about other people? What do you love most about other people?

Ignorance bothers me. Oh my goodness it drives me crazy. When I hear that people don’t vote because they don’t care. Not caring bothers me so much.

What I love most about other people is when they’re passionate and driven and they come together and they’re standing up for others. When they’re showing up, solidarity. And that’s what the last four months (of war in Ukraine) have shown me. That is the best in humanity that I’ve ever seen.

Where can people find you on the socials?

Instagram: @zubizubizu

My podcast Call to Action is on Spotify.

Other links: Humanity in Action, LinkedIn.